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When our family moved to Saudi Arabia this past May, I knew we were in for a lot of changes. But I never imagined just how much those changes would weigh on me mentally and emotionally. A week before Skye’s 5th birthday, we received her diagnosis of moderate to severe ADHD, and life hasn’t stopped moving since.
At the same time, I’ve been navigating my second pregnancy and trying to keep up with a full-time remote job, all while caring for Skye. Needless to say, it’s been overwhelming. The emotional toll of managing her ADHD on top of everything else has been hard to put into words. Parenting is already challenging, but when you add special needs into the mix, it can feel like a full-time job in itself.
The School Struggles Are Real
One of the hardest parts was finding a school for Skye. She was due to start in September, but due to her behaviour, we were told they couldn’t accept her. It felt like such a personal blow because as parents, we want to believe that our children are capable of thriving in any setting. Navigating the school system in Saudi Arabia has been incredibly tricky. Not many schools here cater to special needs, and the few that do come with astronomical fees that are simply out of reach for many families.
I even started considering home schooling her and leaving my job, which was a really difficult thought to process. Thankfully, we finally found a school that’s willing to work with us. But this whole ordeal reminded me of just how much weight parents carry when their child has ADHD. It’s not just about finding the right resources; it’s also about maintaining your sanity in the process.
Read more about our ADHD journey
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup
In all honesty, this period of life has taught me one very crucial lesson: you have to take care of yourself first. There is no way around it. ADHD kids require so much of your time, energy, and patience, and if you’re not refilling your own tank, you’re going to burn out fast.
I’ll admit that I’ve had a lot of days where I felt like I failed Skye. The guilt of putting her in front of the TV or handing her the iPad for hours on end was always there. But there were moments when that was the only way I could get through the day. Between work, pregnancy, and the relentless demands of parenting a child with ADHD, there were days where survival was all I could manage.
And you know what? That’s okay. Some days, the most we can do is survive. Parenting a child with ADHD is draining in ways that people who haven’t experienced it may never fully understand. On top of being a mom, you’re also playing the roles of therapist, nutritionist, behavioural specialist, and advocate, all while trying to keep yourself afloat.
Learning to Let Go
I think one of the biggest shifts for me has been letting go of the idea that I have to “fix” my child. ADHD is not something that can be cured or erased. It’s a lifelong condition that’s part of who our kids are. My job is not to “fix” Skye, but to help her develop the life skills she’ll need to manage her ADHD and thrive in her own way.
I had to learn to stop playing every role and instead trust in the professionals. Whether it’s the teachers, therapists, or other specialists, leaning on them for help has been a huge relief. We have to understand that while we are our child’s biggest advocates, we don’t have to—and shouldn’t—do it all ourselves.
Prioritising Self-Care: Tips for Parents
While the focus is often on how we can best support our kids, we can’t forget to support ourselves. Here are some tips I’ve learned (and am still working on) for making self-care a priority, even when it feels impossible:
- Find Your Support Network
Whether it’s friends, family, or online groups, you need a community of people who get it. Sometimes, just having someone listen and validate what you’re going through can make all the difference. - Take Time for Yourself
It doesn’t have to be a full spa day. Maybe it’s 10 minutes of quiet with your coffee before the day starts, or a short walk by yourself. Little moments of peace add up and can help recharge you. - Set Boundaries and Say No
You’re juggling a lot already, so give yourself permission to say no to extra commitments. Whether it’s skipping a social event or delegating household chores, give yourself grace to not do it all. - Practice Letting Go of Guilt
This one is hard, but essential. The guilt of not doing everything perfectly can be paralysing. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. You’re not failing your child by taking breaks. - Trust the Professionals
Don’t be afraid to rely on teachers, therapists, or doctors. You don’t have to have all the answers. Trust that there are people out there with the training and knowledge to help, and lean on them when you need to. - Celebrate Small Wins
With ADHD, progress can feel slow, but every small victory matters. Celebrate those little wins—whether it’s getting through a meltdown without losing your cool, or simply surviving a hard day. They’re worth acknowledging.
Final Thoughts
Being a parent to a child with ADHD is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be moments of frustration, exhaustion, and guilt, but there will also be moments of joy, pride, and growth. And through it all, you’ll learn that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s absolutely necessary.
We can’t be everything for our kids if we’re running on empty. So, make self-care a priority, trust in the professionals, and remember that you’re doing an amazing job, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
